Finding Her
by lionquinnskitty
Summary: Quinn is trying to find the one girl that stole her heart in high school. She has to find the girl that made her find herself again, even when she was all gone. (Self harm, domestic violence)
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee. I don't own the characters. Just using them in a story./em/p

"Melissa.. I can't pretend with you. I'm breaking up with you." Quinn said to the girl standing in front of her. She had suggested they go for a walk despite the weather that was so cold you could see every breath.

"But.. what did I do?" Quinn's now ex girlfriend reached for her mitten covered hand.

Quinn had already let her mind wander, looking down the street she had walked everyday looking for the same thing. Quinn was now 26 and she had moved to New York a couple years prior, once she had gotten her degree in general literature at Yale.

"Quinn.." the soft voice pulled her from her thoughts and she looked back at the familiar short, brunette girl. "It's about her isn't it?"

"Quinn bit her lip and took the girls hand to rub the back of it. "I'm sorry, Melissa."

"Is it?"

"It is."


	2. Chapter 2

Quinn Fabray got by on only as much as she needed. She had grown up in a very elaborate house, so her small apartment was more than enough to make her happy.

She has made it cozy and inviting in her own way. With interesting and unusual trinkets she had started to accumulate since she moved away from Lima. Her walls were covered in shelves that overflowed with books, new and old.

She sat in her living den and stared up at the ceiling. She was imagining different scenarios of meeting up with her again. She would smile and exclaim how 'good it is to see you again, Quinn' and they would hug. In most of the scenarios, nothing would come out of the exchange, just more heartbreak for Quinn.

She was a woman of Broadway now. People had posters of her and she was a household name. Quinn wouldn't just stumble upon her in a grocery store or at the mall. It just didn't make sense when she would probably be off living a more fun life without Quinn.

It was unlikely that Quinn would ever find her lost love, but Quinn hadn't ever been denied the things she wanted in life.


	3. Chapter 3

It was a few weeks after Quinn had become single again. She should've been over the breakup by now, but she still felt the pain of loneliness when she didn't have a girl to love.

She stared at the ice floating in her glass before swallowing the last of her drink. The alcohol burned slightly before leaving her with a warm feeling throughout her body.

"Another drink?" the bartender motioned his head toward Quinn's now empty glass.

"Please," Quinn said. She knew she shouldn't have another but she needed to feel less.

She spun around on the stool to stare out at the people dancing in sync with the too loud music. She noticed two women grinding and making out. It might've been the way that the alcohol was settling in her, but she felt the need to pay off her tab and walk onto the floor.

She danced her way into the middle and soon enough she had a girl grinding on her thigh. The girl was brunette and petit and enough to satisfy Quinn's need of contact for the time being.

Quinn pulled the nameless girl tighter against her and shamelessly grabbed her ass through the tight jeans.

When the last call was called, Quinn nipped the girl's jaw and walked out, on a direct route home, slightly stumbling from the combination of vodka and the long lasting feeling of someone against her.


	4. Chapter 4

Sun streamed through Quinn's curtains and she slowly opened her eyes, only to shut them quickly after. "Ugh," she groaned rolling over in her bed, "why did I drink so much," she whispered.

Her clothes were strewn on the floor and she was clad in only a bra and thong. She had only a vague memory of walking home alone and collapsing on her bed.

Quinn slowly stood up and closed the rest of her curtains, being comforted by the darkness. She walked over to the kitchen and turned on the coffee maker. Quinn took an Advil and sat down on her couch.

Then Quinn thought about the girl at the bar. She also thought about the girl she loved, all of the girls in between that she's been with just for the possibility that she would love them as much as she loved her high school crush. She remembered the way she would look at Quinn with her big brown eyes and Quinn remembered the way she fell in love again every time. She remembered the ambition and the strength the girl possessed. She thought about the way she always let go of her chances to win over the girl.

The coffee maker went off with a ding and Quinn filled a cup. She drank quickly despite how hot it was. She didn't feel much of anything lately anyway.

When she had finished and was feeling a bit better she got dressed. She opened her curtain to test her sensitivity and cringed at first, but got used to it, and forgot about the slight pounding of her head.

She went out of her apartment to walk along the street, hoping that maybe today would finally be the day she saw the girl she loved.


	5. Chapter 5

Quinn sat down with her usual drink at the coffee shop just down the street from her apartment. The type of coffee shop that people would deem as typical. She sat in the back, as usual, and slowly drank her tea, while watching the people rush in and out.

After about half an hour of watching dull people, someone walked in and completely captured Quinn's attention. The woman's name? Rachel Berry, former Lima loser, current Broadway star.

Quinn's mouth went dry and her throat felt as if it had closed in, trapping the air from her lungs. Her hands were shaking, causing her nearly empty tea to be dangerously close to ending up all over her lap.

"Hi, could I just get a regular coffee with two sugars.. and do you have a vegan creamer or milk substitute?" Rachel said to the male barista behind the counter.

When Quinn heard Rachel's voice again, she lost the last shred of sanity left in her. The voice that was as smooth as the most expensive silk had motivated her to stand, taking steps tentatively toward the source. Her mind was screaming not to go, but her heart was willing her forward.

"R-Rachel?" Quinn said quietly, sure that she would have to say it again. She held out her hand to be shook.

Rachel smiled at the barista and payed, turning and seeing Quinn there, still a few feet away. "Quinn!?" she said her eyes widening and her jaw dropping. "Oh my goodness, Q. It's been forever since I've seen you." She closed the space between them and took Quinn into a tight hug. "Sit and have coffee with me?"


	6. Chapter 6

To Quinn, Rachel was the ocean. She had a power that was constant. Rachel had Quinn's heart in her hands and slowly she could rock her and other times, like today, she would crash in and drag Quinn under.

Constantly. Constantly Quinn was pushed and pulled and dragged by Rachel, and Rachel didn't have the slightest idea of the control she possessed.

Rachel was the ocean.

You could stand at the edge for hours, looking at the surface. Hypnotized by the random rhythm of the waves causing the water to run up and down the sand. Staring at the beauty and never tiring of it, only to realize that you've only been looking at the surface. Underneath.. so much more.

Quinn and Rachel sat together until the coffee shop closed. Between them, Rachel's constant chatter and 'I've missed you's and Quinn's inarticulate responses, the root of Quinn's inability to speak being caused by the goddess of a woman sitting across from her.

"Would that be alright? It's just been good to talk to you and.. Quinn?" Rachel poked her and laughed.

""Hmm?" Quinn picked her head up off of the resting position on her hand and refocused. She'd been staring. Staring and now she was so entranced that she forgot to listen to the words.

"Should we continue this evening at my house? This place is about to close in a few minutes."

"Oh! Yes. Yeah. Of course. I'd love to." Quinn's words rushed out and her skin flared red. She stood up from the table and ran her fingers through her hair, making it flip over the other way.

Rachel looked up and smiled at Quinn. "Come on then. It's really not too far. We can take a cab." Her hand found Quinn's and they walked out of the cafe./p  
Quinn's breath caught in her throat when the brunette's hand was in her own. 'Yeah, friends hold hands, idiot. She's just being a friend.' Quinn tried to relax but she held Rachel's hand like she would never see her again. She had finally found her and she wasn't about to let go again.


End file.
